The fire that rages

There are many things I have read and understand from a theoretical point of view. However, nothing drives a theory home like practice. Through meditation practice I am able to grasp the "book sense" if you will. I have learned today that the fires of passion, rage, anger and lust can never be satisfied. All my life I have been trained and conditioned to try and satisfy these fires at all cost but no matter how hard I try I am never satisfied. Even when I am satisfied I am unsatisfied.

When will I ever be able to say, "Today I was angrier than I have ever been! I have received all there is to get from anger and I am satisfied. I should never have the need for anger again." I have never once said, "That sexual experience was so satisfying that I will never need to have sex again." I have never said, "That girl's body looked so nice in that two piece swim suit I will never have to lust again, my lust has been fully satisfied." It is quite the contrary, the complete opposite. It is the nature of unsatisfactory life. Desire feeds on itself and even when I think I'm tired of something I just go find something else or another version of it. Thus the fire burns and burns and burns and no amount of gratification or suppression will quench it.

I know through what I have read and studied what the source is to all of this burning and what must be done to eliminate it. But my purpose of this post is not to discuss the cause which is ignorance. This post is my documentation of a break through in my practice. I have seen it, I realize the nature of this unsatisfactoriness of existence and seeing it drives me toward freedom.