Setteling down

I am sure that in a previous post I dealt with how I need to get back to the basics of the Middle Way. I tend to get overwhelmed with all the "deep" teachings and never really get a complete handle on anything.

A couple of weeks ago I intuitively realized that for my spiritual practice I need to really get a handle on the Four Noble Truths. This is the foundation, the bedrock of the Middle Way. The Buddha said that it was not until he penetrated these truths completely that he could attain Enlightenment.

So here I go. This will be my course and my pursuit. I know that I will still read and investigate all the the things that tend to catch my interest, (for instance the book I bought yesterday about Edgar Cayce, purchased for the most part because it was 50% off.) but my base will be the Four Noble Truths.

Why am I always better?

I recently noticed how critical I am. Whenever I see someone do something different from how I would do it I think to myself how stupid they are. I know I'm not the only one that does this. We all do it. I am tired of being so critical and tired of complaining all the time.

Last evening I had the impression that I really need to step up my practice and really strive harder. I have been going half speed and have been a little frustrated with my results. The reality is that I am getting back what I am putting in so there it is. If I want better results I need to work harder developing my spiritual life and virtue.

Beginning to see

There are many things about the nature of the world that I understand intellectually. When I read about impermanence, for example, it makes sense but when I experience it, particularly during meditation, it is nothing short of profound.

This morning as I quietly sat in my shrine room I began to slowly absorb the reality that nothing is permanent and all phenomena that is based on conditions is in a constant state of flux. While I focused on my breath I experienced an itch right on the inside of my nose. Talk about torture! It was interesting because I actually experienced the itch right when it came up. My first reaction was to reach up and scratch it but instead I decided to observe it and the feelings that came along with it. In some of my previous posts I have gone into great detail about my itching experiences so I will forgo that in this post. However, once again sitting still and watching how the body works is quite a revelation in impermanence.

Even more so I am beginning to see how my feelings and emotions are tied into what is happening with the body mind complex whether from physical, mental or non physical or mental stimulation. The feelings of despair and the idea that I might go insane over this itch were to some degree comical. On the other hand it is serious to understand how a particular experience produces certain feelings. I think that I will begin to approach these feelings associated with sense pleasures more closely.

The Early Bird

Yesterday I slept in until about 5:30 so I started my meditation a little late. I was tired and figured that even though I was about an hour and a half late that was still enough time to sit comfortably and have time to get ready for the day.

I have converted one of the storage closets on my balcony into a shrine room and on the balcony I have a bird feeder. So, as I sat in meditation the bird feeder was attracting many beautiful birds. I couldn't help but to be distracted and would find myself with my eyes open and enjoying the birds.

So this morning I determined that I had to get up before they did so that I would not be tempted to bird watch.

The lessons of Impermanence

"All conditioned things are Impermanent. When once sees this with wisdom one turns away from suffering, this is the path to purity."

As I sat in meditation this morning I watched the rise and falling of my breathing and then focused on the impermanence of each breath. I followed the beginning the middle and the end of each in and out breath and noticed how each breath is different and non lasting.

Eventually my legs began to go numb and I had a chance to observe the pain as it started to rise, peak and then fade away. Usually when my legs go numb I all but want to die! This time I stayed with every moment of the pain... Every moment was a new moment so the experience was a moment to moment experience, meaning each moment had a beginning middle and end. I sat calmly and gained some insight into impermanence.

How does that translate off the cushion when phenomena is moving at faster than the speed of light? If I can be mindful to find my breath when there is conflict and recall that all conditioned things are impermanent I may be able to use any situation as a meditation tool right then and there. I can observe and see the situation as it really is. So, my goal it to take this morning's experience and apply it to the full speed situation of life.

In addition, for the next 8 weeks I'll be studying the Noble Eightfold Path. This week is Right Understanding...More to come on that.

May you be well, happy and peaceful!

Getting Back to the Basics

I think I may have eluded to this in a prior post but I need to get back to the basics with my meditation practice. Lately I have been kind of all over the map, distracted by other spiritual paths. I have been really diving into gaining a better understanding of ancient traditions and how they seemed to be universal in consciousness. I could go on and on with examples but this is not the point of my post.

What I am trying to get at is that all this stuff is wonderful. I have tried to incorporate all that I am learning and actually apply it to my practice. The only thing is that while it is enriching it really has not helped me in the area of meditation. So I am resolved to get back to the basics. The basics? It's really simple. The Four Noble Truths. This is what I have to strive to understand and what I am determined to do. I alwasy get distracted, even in Buddhism with all the metaphysical and philosophical stuff. I read and read but there is so much that I really never get a good foundation. The Buddha once said about his teachings, "I teach suffering, the cuase of suffering, the cure for suffering and the path that leads to the cure, nothing else." I tend to and I think we all tend to want the most complicated parts of the teachings. However, the Buddha says that it wasn't until he understoond the Four Noble Truths that he was able attain Enlightenment. They seem simple but they are enough to occupy a life time. The purpose of my meditation practice is to gain insight into the Four Noble Truths. This is the path I must walk and stay on.

Wish me well.

May you be well, happy, and peaceful!

Journey to the Center A Meditation Workbook

Recently I purchased a Meditation Workbook entitled Journey to the Center by Matthew Flickstein. This book is a wonderful combination of psychotherapy and meditation practice. I would highly recommend this book for anyone interested in mindfulness meditation. Flikcstein helps you get though many of the psychological obstacles that tend to get in the way of being able to practice effectively...Really good stuff. You can order it through Wisdom Publications

A little off track

This morning while I was on the cushion an old insight came to visit me. A while I go I realized that what I do on the cushion effects what I do off the cushion and what I do off the cushion effects what I do on the cushion. This insight and getting back to the Four Noble Truths are the foundation upon which I need to build my practice.

I've been a little distracted lately and I have not been standing on that foundation. I've kind of been all over the place spiritually; chasing every 2012 book or article, obsessing over the signs of the times etc. etc. I realized today that I need to get back to the basics and that will be my goal.

The stroires I tell myself

“Tell me a story.” Those of us who have children are no strangers to this request made by our children before they go to bed at night. We tell them stories to bring comfort, safety and possibly provide them with content for sweet dreams. I think back to the bed time stories I read to my daughter when she was a small child. She loved Goodnight Moon, Guess How Much I Love You, Runaway Bunny and practically any book from the Margret Wise Brown collection. I read these stories to her hoping to convey messages about how the world works, how I feel about her and to give her a sense of innocence that I wanted her to keep for as long as possible.

During my morning meditation I had a chance to see that it wasn’t just my daughter that I told stories to. In past meditations when my attention turned away from the breath to my wandering thoughts I would simply get lost in the phantasmagoric scenes. However, Once I realized I was day dreaming I would return to my breath not fully aware of what just happened. However, this morning it became crystal clear to me that I was indeed telling myself stories. In a rare instance I actually watched these thoughts rise, peak and fade. For the first time I actually observed the content and I realized that these stories were like the fairy tales I used to tell my daughter only I was the main character and the stories I put myself in were nowhere even close to reflecting reality. It was like watching something sinister take place, a little devil on my shoulder moment. I gained some insight today that I have gone through life as a “fictional” character that exists in my head but not outside of it and suddenly many things that I understood intellectually about the ego was revealed in a more tangible way through practice.

I found this very interesting and marveled at how easy it was for me “get into character.” I was immediately flooded with questions, “how long had this been going on?” “Is this how I get by in life when things don’t go my way?” “I just mentally recreate reality so I can feel better about a situation?” “Is this what I do when I am making breakfast, taking a shower, brushing my teeth, driving to work or doing anything that can be done on auto pilot?” This was quite a revelation, I had come face to face with delusion and I got the feeling I haven’t even scratched the surface yet “How deep does this go?” I wondered.

This is something I intend to watch in meditation and as much as possible when I am off the cushion as well. I realized today that for years I have been telling myself some real “fishing stories” and I have certainly fallen victim to believing my own press. I think the hardest part was not being judgmental. I have to remember that this process of discovery will reveal things that are not really comfortable, but after all I am all I have to work with. I can’t beat myself down and expect to get results. All and all I hope I can start telling fewer stories.

May you be well, happy and peaceful!