Tenfold Compassion Tenfold Cruelty

It’s been a week or so since I last practiced loving kindness meditation (more like a month!). So, yesterday evening I made good on my promise to practice. For me there is nothing easy about meditation either physically or mentally; which, interestingly, is a good way to contemplate impermanence, suffering, and non self.

As I struggled through the session the thought came to me, what if every time I committed an unfriendly or hateful action toward another living being the person(s) I loved most received similar treatment but only tenfold? Similarly, what if every act of compassion and kindness I demonstrated toward any living being resulted in the person(s) I loved most receiving similar treatment but only tenfold?

I thought about this and wondered to myself, if I treat someone at work, for instance, in an unkind manner could that action really affect the person(s) I love the most and possibly tenfold? The more I thought about it the more I realized that indeed it can.

If I become angry with a co worker, personally, I will only go so far in expressing my displeasure. I will certainly not curse at them. I wouldn’t just walk away in the middle of a disagreement and I certainly wouldn’t tell them to shut up or anything like that. Instead I have to look for a more subtle manner to express my anger. I might play some office politics or try and make them look bad, talk about them to other co workers or my favorite just be passive aggressive. I may do little things that I know get under their skin just to be spiteful and vengeful.

For the most part my behavior is in check. There are certain rules I have to follow in order to avoid being fired or disciplined. Most often that anger is just pinned up deep inside and hateful and angry feelings are stored up and played over and over again in my head.

I know I am not the only one out there who takes certain emotional liberties with my loved ones that I don’t generally take with the outside world. For some reason I have been deluded into thinking it can be acceptable to unleash the full force of my wrath on my loved ones. I have never cursed out my boss but I certainly have done this to my lover. Little acts of meanness at work, in traffic or at the grocery store have many times translated to tenfold fits of anger acted out upon my loved ones which is most unfortunate.

The same holds true with acts of compassion. I have noticed that acts of compassion and kindness toward the outside world tend to make me far more tender and loving at home and with the people I care most about and vice versa, being kind and loving at home helps me to reciprocate that to others. The other component is how these two mental states, cruelty and compassion affect me. More and more I realize that the being that I call me is the sum total of actions. Compassionate actions create a compassionate being while cruel actions create a cruel being and a mix of the two creates a hybrid!

So, this thought stays with me. By being compassionate and kind I am creating a peaceful mental state for myself, my family and friends. They will love to have me around and will be comforted by my presence. By being hateful and cruel I bring upon myself, my family and friends sorrow and pain. They don’t want to have me around because I am negative and hateful. With the understanding that hurting others leads to great suffering for my loved ones at my own hand I must do all I can to develop and practice a compassionate heart and with my own hand be a blessing to all those I contact.

May you be well, happy and peaceful!