TV Mind

This morning I discovered why Television is so appealing to me. Anyone that knows me knows that once my eyes lock in on the TV my attention is impossible to divide. I realized today that the day dreaming, thinking, wishing, fantasizing, ego building and everything else, be it positive or negative, that I do in my mind is like watching a movie in HD TV.

The crazy thing is how everything plays out in full HD like quality in my mind. Crazier still is how I attach myself to these thoughts and imaginings that in most cases seem more like an independent film that has been created without any input or assistance from me at all! In addition I become attached to something that is transient, comes and goes and is impermanent.

So I realized that TV is nothing more than the recreation of how my mind works and this is what gives it its appeal. I have nothing to do with what is put on the TV yet I am attached to it and my concept of self, ego and emotions are all manipulated by an imaginary world.

The thoughts I have are just thoughts," not mine, not I, not a self" but I attach myself to them in the same way. Somehow I have bought into the idea that random and transient thoughts are "me". If they are me then why is it no one else in the world sees me the way I do? For my thoughts for years have told me I am more special, more intelligent, better and more worthy than just about anyone. Why doesn't the rest of the world know that? The mind and reality mimic the actor and the character they portray. One is, in conventional terms, real and the other is not. Yet the one that is not real tends to convince the viewer and in some instances the actor that the character is real.

The reality is that neither the actor nor the character are permanent or "real" they just exist in a construct which is why it is all so convincing and all too easy to become attached to. That attachment; attachment to the impermanent is why I suffer. If I jumped out of an airplane hoping I will land softly in the big puffy clouds, as I pass through what appears to be a solid thing, the more I cling to the idea that these clouds would support me the greater my mental and physical suffering will be. Hopefully no one has let me jump without a parachute! Granted I have a parachute if I continue to cling to my ideal of how the world should be instead of how it is I will never deploy the parachute and I will suffer the consequences of clinging to clouds.

My mind is TV and TV is not real. Programs come and go, the electricity can go out, the feed may not come through, it may break down or become outdated.

Strange as this may sound just sit down and try to watch your mind without getting attached to what is happening and it will make more sense.